Archive for the Uncategorized Category

Only in this fucking town

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , on August 13, 2009 by mulcahey

A couple months back I bought a ton of pogs on eBay with the intention of making them into business cards.  (I still haven’t done it, but I’m sure it’ll be cool).  When they arrived, I picked out all the ones that were too shitty to use and posted a craigslist ad to get rid of them.  The only person who responded was a guy named Eric R.  Here’s what he sent me, in an email titled “I made a video about pogs”:

http://vimeo.com/3734594

i bought like 200 of them on ebay, so i have no problem trading. when do you need to do this by? i live in bushwick and i work in soho during the week, you should feel free to come to either for a trade off. let me know if you’re still in need of the goods.

So with that, Eric let me know right off the bat that he was crazy, which was nice of him.  But I still really needed pogs, so for a week I tried to arrange a time to trade “the goods” with Eric, but to no avail.  We emailed back and forth a couple times, and then he just disappeared.  Well, almost disappeared.  From time to time, his name pops up in my Gchat list, and his away messages always tell me a little more about this guy whose pogs I almost acquired.  They’re usually promoting one of his videos, but today when I logged on I saw this:

I’m broke and I have to take my puppy to the vet (her pierced ear got infected).

Can you say WT FUCK???  This guy is the best argument I’ve seen as to why we should license people to have pets and/or children, and why pog trades are sketchier than drug deals.  I guess I dodged a bullet by not meeting this guy.  Only in this fucking town.

Chalk box?

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , on May 7, 2009 by mulcahey

I think I may have uncovered a prank from one of my favorite comedy troupes, but I can’t be sure.

First I got an email about a gig that pays a ludicrous amount of money for a hysterically cliched ad for  a product called the “Ultimate Chalk Box.”

The combination of that concept and the line “paid for by UCB,” made me think this might be the Upright Citizens Brigade.

But then I checked the Ultimate Chalk Box website, and was even more confused. Are these guys for real?

What do you guys think?

Shameless plug of the day

Posted in Uncategorized with tags on March 3, 2009 by mulcahey

I could really use a better way to convert my PDFs to text. Oh, hey, look! An online program that does exactly what I need!
http://www.pdftoword.com/
http://www.smashingapps.com/2009/02/25/get-your-free-beta-invitation-codes-for-pdf-to-word-converter.html

He’s a puppet, I tell you!

Posted in Uncategorized on December 17, 2008 by mulcahey

Hey Blagojevich,
Here’s a hint: if you’re accused of a crime, stop wearing black leather jackets. It doesn’t make you look any more trustworthy.
blago-jacket
And if you MUST wear a leather jacket, try not to directly rip-off the look of ventrioloquist Jeff Dunham, ok?
dunham

Duh!

In His Own Image Browser

Posted in Uncategorized on October 2, 2008 by mulcahey

Milking the Sun

Posted in Uncategorized on September 11, 2008 by mulcahey

The road trip may be over, but that doesn’t mean that Marissa and I are done using it to pry money from the hands of those foolish enough to offer it to us.

Vote for Marissa’s video here and help her win some moolah.

RNC Dispatch #3: Turtles Through Time

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , on September 9, 2008 by mulcahey

After a chaotic 4 days in St. Paul, we’ve packed up our things and left.  Not because we got everything we needed (although we got some good stuff), but because the police environment has become too hostile for us to continue our work.  We’ve already told most of you about the Tuesday night search of our car (when cops shined flashlights in our camera lens to stop us from filming).  We thought we had seen the worst of it.  Last night, however, we got more than we bargained for.

We drove into St. Paul to meet up with our friends at Current, based inside the convention center.  We parked our car at Mickey’s diner, the local eatery we’ve come to know so well…in part because we’ve been parking there a lot.  We spent about 5 hours working with Current on a piece that should air in the next day or so (links to come), and upon returning we found that our car had been towed.  That sucks, but it’s not world-ending, obviously.  But then, before we could even call the towing company and find our where our car had been towed to, we were surrounded by cops who asked if we were carrying weapons.  We told them no and then were immediately frisked.  It’s not a pleasant experience.  One of the officers asked Nathan if he was from another country, and he said, “Yes, Maryland.” We were then told to wait for the Secret Service.  We asked what the problem was, but were told only that the SS wanted to talk to us.

The SS showed up and immediately separated Nathan from Evan, and Evan from Nathan, and Oscar from Meyer.  They rummaged through our bags, took our cell phones, read our text messages, and proceeded to question us for about 45 minutes.  Where were we staying?  Who’s house?  What’s the address?  How do we feel about anarchists?  One SS agent took Nathan aside and told him he was trying to help him, and that Nathan would be safe if he just told him what was in his car.  We both explained to our interrogators that we had nothing in the car except for bags of food and a tripod, but still the questions came.  At one point they just gave up the charade and started speaking in German.  I mean, not really, but that’s what if felt like.

After about 40 minutes (during which several of our friends from the diner passed by and gave us confused looks), we were released.  Inside the diner, we related our tale of molestation to the staff and customers and were given complimentary ice cream floats.  Evan’s was Coca-cola, Nathan’s was black cherry.  Evan really wanted a black cherry, but Nathan got the last bottle in the diner, which was kinda weird, seeing as how he had already had 3 black cherry floats since we got to St. Paul and Evan had had 0.  But it just wasn’t Evan’s night.

We ended up walking the 3 miles to the car-towing place.  The SS had warned us that it was in a bad neighborhood (but declined our request for a ride).  We tried our best to smooth-talk the receptionist, and we almost got her, but ultimately the system won.  We forked over a good sum of cash, got the car back, and headed to our make-shift home.

We regrouped and retold the story to our friends.  The more we told it, the more we realized that we had dodged a bullet.  All of our friends – journalists, both independent and accredited – were getting arrested left and right.  Cops raided an independent journalism office because they claimed that anarchists were holding hostages inside…based on an “anonymous” tip.  Of course, there were no hostages, but after the cops bashed in the door with a battering ram, the landlord kicked the journalists out.  With the situation only getting worse, we decided to pack up our things and go.  That was at 2 AM.

We’re currently on our way back to Maryland and DC, respectively.  We hope to see you all soon, show you our work, and swap stories over some black cherry ice cream floats.  For those of you still in St. Paul, we wish you the best of luck and hope for your safety.

We don’t know where the President is,
Spineless Media
(Nathan and Evan)

No towers? I’m going to college!

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , on April 21, 2008 by mulcahey

This week I completed my Stafford Loan exit interview. The “interview” is actually a short online questionnaire that shows the bank and the Feds that I understand that I have to give the money back. Questions included “What should you do if you realize you will be unable to make a payment?” (A: Call the bank and sign over your kid.) Each question follows a short description of my different responsibilities as a lendee. Apparently, there are a couple ways to get out of paying the bank, but one in particular caught my attention.

Quite the loophole. Not sure I see the correlation, but quite the loophole.

Life on Mars

Posted in Uncategorized on January 25, 2008 by mulcahey

NASA unintentionally set off waves of speculation this week when it posted this photo  taken on the surface of Mars:Life on Mars?

A lot of people say that there’s a figure in this photo. Some say it’s a woman, others think it resembles “The Thinker,” the Auguste Rodin sculpture. Some even said it was Bigfoot.

For reasons to obvious to list, these proposals are idiotic. Anyone with half a brain cell in their cavernous head can see that that is not Bigfoot in the photo. Christ, how stupid can people get??? Can they not even see what’s in front of their faces?? Have they no concept of history???

Even the biggest idiot can tell what’s really in that photo:

I’ll give you life on Mars.

DUH.

It’s a wonderful life?

Posted in Uncategorized with tags on January 12, 2008 by mulcahey

According to the Cadaver Calculator, if I were do die tomorrow and donate my body to science, my heirs would receive something to the tune of…

$4340.00

The Cadaver Calculator – Find out how much your body is worth.

Which, needless to say, is more than I have in my bank account now.  Don’t go getting any ideas, heirs.